


Goodbye My Lover

by thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Everyone is Dead, F/M, Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt, Heavy Angst, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polydins, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 02:43:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15676407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes/pseuds/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes
Summary: Remember when we all thought the paladins died? Yeah, that.





	Goodbye My Lover

**Author's Note:**

> This is really bad im sorry

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_  
 _Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_  
 _'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun._  
 _Yes, I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._  
  
The lions hit the ground with a reverberating crash, echoing for miles as it sends debris flying in every direction. As the dust settles, Shiro watches the lions with panic in his eyes, praying to whatever's out there that they're OK.  
  
"Paladins, are you there?" He asks shakily. Everyone holds their breath for several moments, a collective silence falling over them as they wait for an answer. Shiro's breathing is laboured, and uneven as tears threaten to spill with every moment of quiet.  
  
"Paladins, are you there!?" He tries again, more frantically than before. His hands grip the console so tightly his flesh knuckles go white and his prosthetic dents the metal. He closes his eyes tightly, and a few treachorous tears fall from his face as he attempts to even out his breathing.  
  
"Sir-" Veronica begins, but never finishes. She simply stares as the man in the center of the room falls apart.  
  
"Keith," He tries, but no answer comes.  
  
"Lance," He attempts once more.  
  
"Allura! Hunk! Katie!" He begs.  
  
" _Anyone_ ," He calls, but no answer comes.  
  
_So, I took what's mine by eternal right,_  
 _Took your soul out into the night._  
 _It may be over but it won't stop there._  
 _I am here for you if you'd only care._  
  
"Today is a solemn day," Shiro says, voice monotone and empty. He looks past the crowd, to the horizon, the sun in his eyes causing him to squint slightly. He continues his speech, but  his mind is elsewhere.  
  
He thinks of when he first met Keith, of all the times he had to calm him down when he got frustrated. He thinks of the first time they kissed, and how electrifying i was.  
  
He thinks of Lance, how the boy had been so unsure of himself when they first spoke, and how he'd grown so much braver in such little time. He thinks of the first time their hands met and how at home he felt.  
  
He thinks allura, of how her stiff demeanor and regal aura had genuinely scared him at first. He thinks of ghe first time she touched his cheek, and how gentle it had been.  
  
He thinks of Hunk, of how scared the poor boy had been when they first began their mission, and how he had come so far in mere days. He thinks of the first time they shared a bed, and how warm it had been.  
  
He thinks of Katie, and how far she had gone to find her family, how brave she had been in the face of constant defeat. He thinks of the first time she ran het fingers through his hair, and how comforting it had felt.  
  
_You touched my heart, you touched my soul,_  
 _You changed my life and all my goals._  
 _And love is blind, and that I knew, when_  
 _My heart was blinded by you_  
  
Lance's family had been distraught, torn apart by grief, they found solace in each other. His mother stayed strong, though, and smiled as wide as her son once had, ruffling the hair of her children, despite the pain of losing one of them for the second time.  
  
The younger children didn't fully understand, of course, innocence softening the blow of losing their older brother, uncle and cousin. They couldn't understand why their beloved Lance wouldn't come back to them, despite having promised them that he would.  
  
"Mamá, when is Lance coming home" One of them questioned one day, and she had taken them into her arms, holding back tears as she gave the most honest answer she could.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
_I've kissed your lips and held your head._  
 _Shared your dreams and shared your bed._  
 _I know you well, I know your smell._  
 _I've been addicted to you._  
  
When Matt had received the news, he had gone into shock. After everything they had gone through to get back to each other, they had lost each other once again. He'd simply stood there, staring into nothingness as tears fell freely down his cheeks, thinking of nothing other than his sister, and how he'd have to be the one to tell their parents, knowing how it would destroy them.  
  
Colleen had immidietally burst into tears, collapsing in on herself, with only her husband's support to stop her from crumbling. She had sobbed into Sam's chest, shoulders shaking aggressively as she grieved all over again for her only daughter. She had sobbed until her tears dried out, leaving her with only her voice as she screamed to the sky, pleading for her child's life back. She had screamed until her throat went raw, before finally kneeling silently on the floor, her vice-like grip never leaving her husband's hands.  
  
Samuel had put on a brave face, showing little outward emotion while a maelstrom of emotions flooded his heart. He'd allowed a few meager tears to fall, wetting his beard slightly as he collapsed to the ground with his wife. He'd held onto her for dear life as she held onto him. He had then looked to his only son, and could only think of how similar they looked.  
  
_Goodbye, my lover._  
 _Goodbye, my friend._  
 _You have been the one._  
 _You have been the one for me._  
  
When Hunk's parents had been rescued, they had been expecting to see their beloved son, having heard of Voltron's efforts from outside sources. They had beem ecstatic, filled with love and glee as they ran out of the encampment with bright smiles towards Shiro. They had faltered, however, when Shiro didn't smile back, looking sorrowful and apolagetic instead.  
  
" _No_..." His mother had exhaled, a hand moving to cover her mouth as it hit her. Her son, her own flesh and blood... gone. Tears had fallen from her eyes as her knees gave out under her, and she couldn't even bring herself to wince at the ache in her joints as she mourned. She had hunched over, folding in on hersel and making herself as small as possible.   
  
She had sobbed silently but shakily into her fists, large, warm hands meeting her back as her husband kneeled down beside her, picking her up into his arms, and they cried together. They had kneeled there for hours, just crying until they couldn't, then spending the time in each other's arms. They only moved when the sun was beginning to set, and they felt as if it would never rise again.  
  
_I am a dreamer,_  
 _And when I wake,_  
 _You can't break my spirit._  
 _It's my dreams you take._  
  
Coran's first reaction was shock, disbelieving of what he was hearing. The Princess, Allura, she couldn't be...Then it was frustration, feeling as if he should've been the one to die in her place. But he wasn't, and there was nothing he could do,  short of manipulating time itself to get her back. It was beyond his control, Allura was gone.  
  
He had slammed his fist on the table then, resting his head in his other hand as teardrops began to form in his eyes. His shoulders shook with every cry, the intensity of his sobs growing until he was wailing into his gloved hands. The only thing he could think of in that moment was Allura, in her childhood years, how she had been eternally curious of everything, and how he had been the one the show her the universe.  
  
_And as you move on,_  
 _Remember me,_  
 _Remember us,_  
 _And all we used to be._  
  
"As the defenders of the universe,"   
  
Shiro had finished his speech with a forced smile of encouragement, the people cheering below. He looked behind him, at the lions that stood there, and he had finally allowed his tears to fall. He had walked off the stage then, ignoring the looks of sympathy he had received from several people as he did so. He had walked as quickly as his feet would carry him, finally finding an room for himself, and so he closed the door behind him.  
  
He had leaned against it, one hand covering his mouth to stop himself from crying out, the tight feeling his chest threatening to burst as he cried. He slid down to the ground, resting his head between his knees as his whole body shook with painful sobs. He felt guilty for being the only one of the paladins left alive, wanting nothing more than to  wrap his arms around each of his lovers, but he couldn't, and so he wrapped his arms around his legs and pretended.  
  
_I've seen you cry,_  
 _I've seen you smile._  
 _I've watched you sleeping for a while._  
 _I'd be the father of your child._  
 _I'd spend a lifetime with you_.  
  
The funeral had been enormous, people gathering from all around to mourn the loss of both the paladins and their own lost family as the give coffins were lowered into the ground next to each other. They were buried along with all the others that had passed during the war upon Earth, and it still shook Shiro to his very core when he saw the headstones.  
  
Everyday, Shiro and Coran would come to visit their graves, leaving flowers and little trinkets or food items each day. They would spend hours there every time, silently looking at the pictures of the paladins on the tombstones, mourning. Shiro knew that, one day, he would stop coming, and things would move on, and he simultaneously dreaded and longed for that day.  
  
_I know your fears and you know mine._  
 _We've had our doubts but now we're fine._  
 _And I love you,_  
 _I swear that's true._  
 _I cannot live without you._  
  
  
Their names were added to the wall, along with all those who had offered up their lives for their cause. Keith, Lance, allura, Hunk, Katie... they were all there next to eac other, the images of them next to their names. Shiro passed it everyday, and everyday it served as a reminder of just how much he had lost.  
  
Every night, he would take one last glance at their names, then at Adam's, before leaving for his room at the Garrison. And every night he would cry himself to sleep, thinking of all the time spent with his lovers, only for his nightmares to haunt him further. It was torture, but he forced himself to live through it, knowing that one day, things would be easier. But for now, he would simply have to suffer.  
  
_Goodbye, my lover._  
 _Goodbye, my friend._  
 _You have been the one._  
 _You have been the one for me_.  
  
Shiro would train everyday and everynight, busying himself with exercising to his breaking point, and then further. He would keep going until he passed out, often waking up in the hospital wing of the Garrison to familiar nurses telling him to watch out for himself, before going back to the training deck.  
  
Often times, he would keep going until the sun rose, but then Iverson began to show up, giving him a somber look before speaking.  
  
"Go to bed, Shirogane," He would say, not leaving until the man had done as he was told. It became routine, and Shiro hated how helpless he felt, having to rely on countless others to take care of him.  
  
_And I still hold your hand in mine,_  
 _In mine when I'm asleep._  
 _And I will bare my soul in time,_  
 _When I'm kneeling at your feet._  
  
Shiro doesn't use his prosthetic arm for months after the Paladins' passing. He allows the metallic object to gather dust in the corner of his room, unable to bare even looking at the offending object. He can't.  
  
He only begins using it after half a year has passed, and he's finally forcing himself to move on. He summons the arm, feeling the sensation in his hand again. He clenches his fist, shaking as he thinks of all that he has lost. The arm is a constant reminder that what he loved is now gone, but he knows that it will only stop hurting when he moves on, so he uses the prosthetic  despite the pain it causes him. And one day he wakes up, and it doesn't hurt quite as much as it once did.  
  
_Goodbye, my lover._  
 _Goodbye, my friend._  
 _You have been the one._  
 _You have been the one for me_.  
  
He eventually moves on entirely, finding someone new to share his love with. They listen to him, and help to carry his burdens. They're everything he could ask for and more. He moves on, though he never quite forgets...  
  
Sometimes, he wakes up holding them in his arms, and he wonders why they don't feel familiar, before realising. Sometimes, when they look at him from across the room, smiling brightly at him, he sees someone else, but he snaps out of it rather quickly nowadays, and he knows that he is living.

 _I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow._  
 _I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._  
 _I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow._  
 _I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._  
  
Years and years later, he finally feels the years creep up on him, and he welcomes the end with open arms and a smile. When he wakes up again, he is greeted by five familiar faces.


End file.
